Currently Listening I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning By Bright Eyes see related

i'm a bad person.

i download my music illegaly.

and like it.

today was.....empty. and very very long.

i drank my entire stock of red bull. 13 cans. now i'm all shaky and jittery and can't sit still. the music is turned up way too loud, and my windows are open so it's spilling out across the neighborhood. i like the idea of my music being the backdrop for someone else's dinner table conversations. a tiny part of someone they will never know blending quietly into their life. i'm numb and detatched, and feeling like i'm tripping. there's homework to be done, but i'm putting it off and can't get in the mood to get any of it done. i'm not looking forward to tomorrow. my room is cold, but i'm too apathetic to get up and put on a damn sweatshirt. there's something beautiful about goosebumps, and the way they make everyone look pale and dainty and sickly.

a mood like this is a  syptom that i'm overdue for some writing. should make jb happy, as it means something for her to read. finally.

off to finish my.... whatever it is. novel? short story? poem? i haven't decided yet. does it matter? it's badly written, and i'll probably be too ashamed to let anyone see it.

die young and save yourself, kiddies.

meh. who am i fooling? i would miss every second of this fucking twisted creative process bullshit.

Currently Reading This Lullaby By Sarah Dessen see related

                < for jordan.

damn kids. i think i found my dexter. tonight, we're going to cheap flicks.

Currently Listening Is a Real Boy By Say Anything see related

ha ha ha show me what you got.

say anything rocks my shit. <3

so

a day in review

i'm passing slowly through a vector.

1 at festival. which means that i am obligated to waste another saturday with the most horrible person i know.

i hate it when people see me cry. i'm not supposed to cry. i hate the fact that he can still make me cry. i hate how i look when i cry. crying in general, is the suck.

me and my daddy ran away so my sister couldn't rape us.

i'm way too nostalgic for someone my age. i miss the spice girls. and the backstreet boys. and city high. but if any of them tried to make a comeback i would be first in line to throw rotten tomatoes.

my love of monopoly and card games has increased tenfold in the last 24 hours.

my body's burning. won't you find me some water? hey just forget it, can you bring me gasoline?

i ate my body weight in jolly ranchers.

nathan is a good luck charm. how could anyone have predicted that taking the two cutest things in the world, bunnies and babies, and mixing them together would create such a horrendous crime against nature?

my timpani skills kick your timpani skills in their overweight, pale, jiggly butts.

"blow girls, blow." -a creepy old man

no sir, we were not stealing your chimes. please refrain from accusing us of such heinous crimes.

"my name isn't bitch. it's dave." -dave. honestly, i have no idea how the boy puts up with it. if i was a freshman and someone did that to me, there would be some ass-kickage happening. and potato too. when someone uses your forehead to smash your hot dog, there's some serious problems.

"spring break! peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time." i wish i had a brother. this is why.

"ah fuck this. fuck this budget production. i should've signed to a major label, because ECA records sucks, and Doghouse Records sucks. you know what? fuck this. fuck all of you. god damn it."

^ my hero. first one to tell me who said it gets undying love and affection. and whatever i win next time i win the fun fun raffle.

so he's in a mental hospital. big deal. the man is a god.

Currently Listening A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At the Disco see related

how lovely would it be to not sleep alone?

i hate sleeping alone. that disgusting 2 am worthless feeling seems like it might be easier to take if you could roll over and fold into someone.

i live for fridays.

Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76% Stability |||| 20% Orderliness |||| 13% Accommodation |||| 16% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70% Intellectual |||||||||||| 43% Mystical |||||||||||| 43% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Materialism |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 63% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||||| 90%

Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Avoidant |||| 16% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Wealth |||||||||||| 43% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70% Change averse |||||| 30% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical fitness |||||||||||||| 57% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70% Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 63%

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

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